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The Fine Line Between Care and Taboos: A Tale of Hidden Realities

by Keren Mukuna updated on May 02, 2024       

Africa stands as one of the most diverse continents on the planet, boasting a wealth of biological and cultural richness. With, over 3,000 different ethnic groups speaking more than 2,100 languages, alongside a myriad of religions and traditions, Africa offers a tapestry of experiences and perspectives. Yet, within this mosaic of diversity lies a delicate interplay between our capacity for compassion and the societal boundaries that confine our discussions. 

I was born and raised on this continent, naturally filled with so much diversity, and more precisely in the world’s richest country, the DR Congo. And yet, for the longest time, the concept of mental health eluded me, despite growing up grappling with what I now understand to be a less severe form of depression. Depression can have different forms, and people suffering from it can be joyful all the time, hiding their pain or terrible emotions behind a constant smile while still suffering mentally and emotionally. With a predominant 20 million people suffering from mental health as reported last year by the minister of health, precisely depression, people barely acknowledge this disease as they’re not well educated on this, staying captive in a dark place that can affect their lives dramatically. This was my case for a long time. The days would stretch into eternity, with each passing moment suffocating any semblance of joy or purpose, every meal becoming a battle against apathy and every interaction a facade masking the turmoil raging within. 

Retreating to the solitude of my room, I began to feel like a bystander to my own life, unable to articulate, even to those closest to me, the turmoil raging within, simply because I couldn’t comprehend it myself. Ashamed of the unholy thoughts that will occasionally cross my mind and the confused stares coming from my family and the distance that slowly build itself between myself and the outside world, I waited, in the silence and darkness of my room, for something, anything, to pull me from that state. It was a peculiar paradox, dealing with those intrusive thoughts that did not represent who I was – but also, as a Christian, personally believe I shouldn’t have – carving a path towards a life of fulfilment and purpose, yet being filled by a profound sense of helplessness because I was not able, or rather did not know, how to extricate myself and escape this loneliness.  Eventually, I found solace in exploring alternative perspectives during my travels. It was through a journey of self-reconnection and discovery that I confronted and overcame my struggles. 

So, what does this story have to do with Africa, and more specifically the DR Congo, one might ask? The answer lies within the fabric of our society, interwoven with threads of tradition, belief, and silence. According to World Health Organization (WHO), more than 850,000 deaths by suicide happens because of depression every year and Sub-Saharan Africa bears the unfortunate distinction of having the highest suicide rate globally. Despite these alarming statistics, mental health concerns remain shrouded in stigma and misconception with some people still believing it only affecting “white people” and mental health care services lacking in primary care services nationwide. I had the chance to eventually be heard and understood – by other but also by myself –, but sometimes, I can’t help but think of all these Congolese, my brothers and sisters, who in silence are still stuck in that dark and lonely room, feeling like bystanders to their own life solely because they’re not well educated on the matter, too ashamed to express their despair or afraid of the repercussions their truth may cause. 

Far too often, vital discussions related to the well-being of our confreres have been relegated to the periphery, dismissed as unspeakable and confined to the shadows becoming silenced narratives that desperately cry out for attention, yearning to be heard and understood. 

All those are just the tip of the iceberg of an even bigger problem, which includes countless taboos in Africa, and particularly in the DRC. 

Taboos are not relics of a bygone era but living entities that exert profound influence over our lives. Whether it be mental health, sexuality, women health or violence, these taboos are dealt with in complete silence, drastically altering the lives of our fellow citizens and casting a shadow of shame and fear reinforced by our traditions. 

Challenge tradition to overcome taboos 

It is undeniable that tradition plays a vital role in shaping the identity and cohesion of ethnic groups across the country. From rituals and customs to social norms and values, tradition forms the bedrock upon which communities are built. To challenge taboos is often viewed as a disregard for these deeply ingrained traditions, a betrayal of our cultural heritage in favour of Western influences. Yet, people forget that tradition is not static; it evolves and adapts to changing circumstances. Challenging taboos does not equate to abandoning tradition but signifies a commitment to societal transformation.  

Numerous examples worldwide could demonstrate the evolution of societal attitudes and norms over time. From the acceptance of interracial marriage in the United States to the dismantling of apartheid in South Africa, and the ongoing struggle for gender equality in various countries, we can see how pushing barriers brought changes that some societies needed to evolve and better themselves. However, one notable example is seen through the practice of female genital mutilation (FGM) within many African societies, including some regions of our country where 5% of Congolese women and girls still fall victim to this harmful practice. As a long-lasting tradition in certain communities, FGM was deeply rooted in cultural beliefs and norms surrounding femininity, purity, and marriageability. However, in recent years, there has been a significant shift in attitudes towards it due to increased awareness of its harmful effects on women’s health and well-being. Advocacy efforts by local and international organizations, along with education campaigns and legal reforms, have contributed to challenging the taboo surrounding FGM and promoting alternative rites of passage that do not involve harmful practices. This revaluation of traditional practices underscores the importance of engaging with communities to promote understanding and acceptance of cultural change while respecting the value of tradition in shaping identity and cohesion. If this reinterpretation of tradition has been applicable to FGM why not extend the same mobilisation towards the other taboos of Africa? 

A change of mindset is still possible  

Reflecting on the years I spent trapped in a nuanced state of limbo, I was compelled to embark on a journey that delves into the complexities of care amidst the veils of taboo. it becomes evident that a change of mindset is not only conceivable but imperative for societal progress and it is my belief that by shedding light on these hidden realities, we can foster a culture of acceptance, resilience, and empowerment.  

Through open and transparent conversation, we can pave the way for a more inclusive and compassionate society. Hidden Realities was born as a space for dialogue, where taboo topics are met with empathy and understanding. For in acknowledging the humanity within each taboo, we take a crucial step towards empathy, understanding, and actionable change.  

It’s time to speak of the realities of our country, even the hidden ones. Join me on this journey as we bridge the divide, address the unspoken, and listen to the unheard. 

Africa, the cradle of humanity, a land that stirs the soul with its mystic allure. My soul chose to be born in a land where golden savannahs stretch far and wide. A land where one can witness the plains come alive with the rhythmic footsteps of herds embarking on their breath-taking migration in a timeless display of resilience and unity. A country that holds beauty, that enchants the senses and ignites wonder.

My land, my motherland Kenya. Born into a Kenyan family of Asian descent, a family that has lived and breathed Kenya and Africa for previous 5 generations, I can only identify as a Kenyan, a proud 6th generation African. Brought up in a family where ‘Being Human’ was the main principal belief. We have been raised with values that don’t differ greatly from those of the thousands of tribes that make up Africa – roots, heritage, family, faith, morals, principles and more.

Many years ago, I stood on stage at a speech writing contest in High School, where I described the strategy behind Muhamad Ali’s glorious win where he “floated like a butterfly, and stung like a bee” against George Foreman, in the fight forever known as the ‘Rumble in the Jungle.’ Years later, never even in my wildest imagination, did I imagine I would be living in the very ‘jungle’ itself, and working in the world of strategic storytelling and encouraging the amplification of Congolese voices and narratives far and wide across the globe from the heart of Africa.

Congo or as it was then called Zaire, a land that was stamped in the memory of the World as the place where Ali fought Foreman and caused a mighty Rumble in the boxing world. A battle that was immortalised in the song ‘In Zaire’ sung by Johnny Wakelin. Congo was a land everyone wanted to know about.

A land that is endowed with all the riches known to mankind. A blessed land, with a rich cultural heritage and a teeming, deserving population. A land sadly destroyed by its colonial past. Which, since its independence, is slowly trying to attain its rightful place in the World. It is here that I arrived five years back.

As I look back on my first five years of living in the Democratic Republic of Congo, there have been moments of floating and very often, little stings. I moved to Kinshasa for love. In the beginning, I can honestly admit, it was not love for the city or the country or the people – I didn’t know enough about this 

ginormous country and the 100+ million people that fill its borders – it was personal love. But five years later, I never thought I could love a country and its people as though they were mine. That love comes from the heart that feels the mystic rhythm of the African land, and I couldn’t be prouder to call it home.

You can never shake the ancient dust of Africa off your boots – no matter how far and wide you travel.

Having lived in London for thirteen years followed by a few years in the Middle East, returning to Africa was natural. 

The love for Africa always remains in the soul. Living in the heart and soul of Central Africa, has been an adventure.

The narratives that have filled Western Media have sung a different song for many years, call it geo-politics, strategic positioning, economic control, all things aside, the story of the Congo has never really been told loudly by the Congolese themselves. From the outside looking in, the perceptions are dotted and plagued with negativity, but on the ground, the beating hearts of the Congolese are rumbling a little louder day by day towards progress, and it’s in these slivers of hope, that the true stories are revealed.

The stories that spotlight the young entrepreneur battling to build a viable business, young students carving out their careers currently into untapped and underdeveloped industries, the non-existent middle class that should build the private sector and contribute to its growth and the country’s economy, international investors building projects that create jobs and wealth for the locals as much as it does for the financial interest in the Congo. We can’t talk about changing the narrative of a country when we don’t discuss the positive changes that education, infrastructure developments, economic policies, universal health care, food self sufficiency etc can contribute towards developing Congo.

In Africa, a transformative era is on the horizon as the continent sets its sights on change and development like never before, and country examples like Nigeria, Ghana, South Africa, Morocco, and Kenya are a testament to these positive changes. A combined drive by the Africans to build an Africa by Africans for a future developed Africa. A daunting task as a fellow African who first arrived in Kinshasa for a two-week trip which quickly extended from month to month and snowballed into creating a business in the field of strategic advisory and communications. It was created around the simple premise – the African narrative needs to be written by the Africans, and the Congolese needed a platform for their voices to be heard as far and wide across the globe.

At the heart of Africa, the center of its soul, the Congolese beats are picking up. Business is quietly picking up, post the first peaceful democratic elections. As the incumbent President Felix Tshisekedi embarks on his second mandate, the world waits with bated breath for the promised change and greater development, the impact of which can be felt across the entire population. Whether its infrastructure, governance reform, education, better health, access to basic needs – there are plenty of conversations to be had. Storytelling, an essential part of Congolese culture, an oral tradition that is filled with narratives, stories, and songs, need to be told from the perceptions and opinions of the Congolese.

In the past, and especially in 2023 the power and bias of the international media came to the forefront.

Geopolitics and powerful Media Houses controlled and amplified the narrative that in their perception was important. It’s only natural to question the visibility of certain global issues over another. This raises the question about the impact of our voices when catastrophes and issues affecting an African country are narrated differently. Whether it’s election, unrest or other catastrophes affecting an African country, sometimes the western media does not consider it newsworthy because they do not have an in-depth understanding and information of the issues and disasters that affects this Continent.

There are a lot of positive changes happening as well, and these news worthy developments need to be made a part of the Global narrative. Positive or negative these conversations need to be had openly and who better than the Africans to be at the forefront of this narrative. The true voices of the Congolese need to be heard from their heart and soul and from their perspective. That’s when the true picture of the reality of their lives, struggles and aspirations emerges.

There is a need for a platform where the Congolese voices and the African voices can be heard, where views can be freely given not as a negative but as a positive approach to help bring the DRC to take its rightful place, not just in Africa but also in the World. Is it not our experiences from around the world when put together with like minded individuals – where greatness begins? Where stories and narratives become the basis for legacies.

DRConversations is the platform created as a gift for all the voices that need to be heard, for all the emotions that need to be expressed and to bring forth the dreams and aspirations of a nation on the cusp of development. Join this journey by sharing openly your knowledge and experience to make DRC a happy, positive and progressive Nation.

It’s time for another rumble in the jungle – Welcome to the conversations from the Congo.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             KS